deviant ART

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~geobyte:icongeobyte:

shivercide.  

  • Status: Member
  • Mad Scientist
  • Female/United States
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Jul 30, 2001, 8:29 PM
  • 38 Deviations
  • 2 Scraps [browse]
  • 661 Deviation Comments
  • 101 Deviant Comments
  • 25 Forum Posts
  • 4,816 Pageviews

Wow.

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 1, 2006, 9:53 PM
I just realized that I had journal entries on this site dating back to 2002. As in, the beginning of 2002...

After reading them all, I'm practically in tears. I know hardly anyone even so much as glances at my profile anymore, probably due to my many and long abscences (and possibly my big poetry-deletion spree a couple years back), so probably no one will even see this journal entry. But I needed to reflect. Like seriously.

I had all but forgotten about that person, who seemed to shrivel up and die in August of 2002. But here it is, before me - the old normal, everyday writings of that girl before the line of division made its way into my life and changed me into something else. Some broken version of myself. Of innocence, which I had clung to so dearly, completely destroyed.

If you don't know me, then you have no idea what I'm talking about. If you do know me, then you might have the slightest clue. All I know is, I miss that person. I had my problems then, but I was myself. I was a normal, sometimes-lost teenage girl, with a bad home life. But I was grounded. I was whole. Now I feel shattered, and like most of me is missing. I want it back; but I don't think it's something I can ever get back.

I can see in the entries, and in my period of abscences, that I was forever changed in August. I didn't write anything that month, but I know it was August because that's when it happened. It wasn't a gradual effect - it was one event that stampeded its way into my life and stole a huge part of me forever.




I miss me.




.

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 23
  • Current Residence: Stranded somewhere in the clouds.
  • Interests: Writing. Music. Photography. Video games. The sky in all forms.
  • Favourite movie: Braveheart.
  • Favourite band or musician: Evanescence. Within Temptation. HIM.
  • Favourite genre of music: Everything.
  • Favourite artist: Dali.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Can't choose just one.
  • Favourite style or digital art: Fantasy.
  • Shell of choice: My case of flesh and blood.
  • Skin of choice: Soft and smooth.
  • Favourite game: The 'Final Fantasy' series.
  • Favourite gaming platform: Computer.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Fieval from 'An American Tail'.
  • Personal Quote: Let the wound heal. Bear the scar with pride.
  • Tools of the Trade: Pen. Paper. Air. Water.

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~StaticSkies:iconStaticSkies: Mar 4, 2008, 10:32:37 AM
Thank you for the add! X =)

--
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
*metalmistress:iconmetalmistress: Mar 3, 2008, 7:39:14 PM
Once again, your beautiful words mean very much to me. If anything, you inspire me. Thank you. :heart:
Hidden By Owner
Flagged as spam
!jessicamadison:iconjessicamadison: Mar 1, 2008, 5:16:31 AMFlagged as spam
This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.
This comment is flagged as spam.
*metalmistress:iconmetalmistress: Sep 30, 2007, 6:33:54 PM
Actually, I guess it was kinda a rash move on my part. My life got messed up really bad for a while, so I needed to seperate myself from everyone here as much as I could. I didn't want people to be able to jump online and read personal things about me, to discuss amongst themselves. I regret deleting everything without even saving it. It was a stupid mistake.

Thanks for showing you care though. I can't say that about a whole lot of people. =)
~oblivionsend:iconoblivionsend: Jan 1, 2007, 5:43:19 AM
I cant help it! It's almost as if you are writing for me. It is what I am thinking and what I believe.

--
In and of itself.
~oblivionsend:iconoblivionsend: Dec 18, 2006, 10:22:56 PM
I will hopefully have something new up. I uh... I'm just really lazy about this kinda thing. ;)

--
In and of itself.
~MadHadder666:iconMadHadder666: Dec 11, 2006, 12:03:42 PM
Ha, yes. The past shows growth, and I have it stored safely in a box in my closet; Literally. Wish you well, as well.

--
"You call a tree a tree and you think nothing more of the word. But it was not a 'tree' until someone gave it that name. You call a star a star, and say it is just a ball of matter moving on a mathematical course. But that is merely how you see it."
~MadHadder666:iconMadHadder666: Dec 10, 2006, 6:32:59 PM
I want to thank you for some criticisms you gave me on my writing more than a year ago; I was a little wuss back then and responded like a slippery toad. My apologies.

I'm deleting what you commented on, it wasn't horrid - except for all the idiotic punctuation, spelling, grammatical errors. So - it was darling...meaning, truly pathetic. But, I thank you; truly, this time.

I’m cleaning out my gallery, and all. So, didn’t want to lose that in the hurry.

-RHC

--
"You call a tree a tree and you think nothing more of the word. But it was not a 'tree' until someone gave it that name. You call a star a star, and say it is just a ball of matter moving on a mathematical course. But that is merely how you see it."
~StannLeigh:iconStannLeigh: Dec 7, 2006, 9:46:01 PM
thanks for the favourite!

--
we'll define everything i've sworn doesn't exist.
=timeodd:icontimeodd: Dec 2, 2006, 8:28:39 PM
Many thanks for the :+fav: :wave:

--
A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.
~hedda:iconhedda: Jul 11, 2006, 5:50:45 AM
Thank you for the lovely comments on my poems. It is nice to read your praise!
I am glad you still pop in every now and then to visit.

:)
`alienhead:iconalienhead: Feb 14, 2006, 6:26:32 PM
Thanks for the devwatch! :)

--
Welcome to deviantART, where pretension meets the internet. :w00t:
~amyleesmyidol:iconamyleesmyidol: May 20, 2005, 3:30:56 PM
Hey!!!! I love your stuff!!! Congrats!
~gendernectar:icongendernectar: May 17, 2005, 6:16:54 PM
You've got some great work here. I decided to add you. :)

--
--------------------------------

Come over and see me sometime...
[link]

No one else could bring you this type of

Shameless self-promotion ....
~oblivionsend:iconoblivionsend: May 15, 2005, 3:25:02 AM
Thanks for the comment! Much appreciated.

Hehe.

--
In and of itself.
~FallingForYou:iconFallingForYou: May 1, 2005, 1:11:31 PM
Thank you for the :+fav: on Darkness

--
My other account: =fallthrustardust
=WithinIllusion:iconWithinIllusion: Apr 29, 2005, 6:35:11 PM
Hello. You live closely to my area funny how that is. Random drop by. Have a good day.

Illusion

--
I Gave You My Purity
My Purity You Stole
`alienhead:iconalienhead: Apr 27, 2005, 10:08:24 PM
Thanks for passing through! :)

--
Welcome to deviantART, where pretension meets the internet. :w00t:
!inziladun:iconinziladun: Apr 26, 2005, 4:14:56 PM
Thanks a lot for the comment. :)

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
~LIMed:iconLIMed: Apr 24, 2005, 2:07:33 PM
Thank you so much for the kind words and the fave on we like The Stories. I really appreciate it!

--
3, 2, 1 -- shrink and depress!
~hedda:iconhedda: Oct 11, 2004, 5:56:32 PM
thanks so much for your kind words on the poem about my mom

:hug:

be well
~Weatherstorm:iconWeatherstorm: Oct 11, 2004, 5:19:46 PM
Wow, long time no see! Thanks for all the recent comments. Glad to see you are still alive =)
~lady-amolfia:iconlady-amolfia: Oct 7, 2004, 12:28:21 AM
hey i like your art style,it just seems to flow
~hikaru-kun:iconhikaru-kun: Aug 30, 2004, 8:43:54 AM
:glomp:

Please keep writing.

--
Oh Come My Way!! Oh Come My Way!! Oh....crap!!
~geobyte:icongeobyte: Jun 6, 2004, 12:56:56 PM
The reason why is in my latest journal entry. :)