I just realized that I had journal entries on this site dating back to 2002. As in, the beginning of 2002...

After reading them all, I'm practically in tears. I know hardly anyone even so much as glances at my profile anymore, probably due to my many and long abscences (and possibly my big poetry-deletion spree a couple years back), so probably no one will even see this journal entry. But I needed to reflect. Like seriously.

I had all but forgotten about that person, who seemed to shrivel up and die in August of 2002. But here it is, before me - the old normal, everyday writings of that girl before the line of division made its way into my life and changed me into something else. Some broken version of myself. Of innocence, which I had clung to so dearly, completely destroyed.

If you don't know me, then you have no idea what I'm talking about. If you do know me, then you might have the slightest clue. All I know is, I miss that person. I had my problems then, but I was myself. I was a normal, sometimes-lost teenage girl, with a bad home life. But I was grounded. I was whole. Now I feel shattered, and like most of me is missing. I want it back; but I don't think it's something I can ever get back.

I can see in the entries, and in my period of abscences, that I was forever changed in August. I didn't write anything that month, but I know it was August because that's when it happened. It wasn't a gradual effect - it was one event that stampeded its way into my life and stole a huge part of me forever.




I miss me.




.